The Queen of Survival
Darcy Keith
What's new with Darcy

Would You Like Your Eyebrows Trimmed with That?

     A couple weeks ago, my husband went to Great Clips for a haircut. My good friend Crystal, who usually cuts his hair, wasn’t working that day, so he decided to get his hair cut from another hairdresser there. A little nervous as to if she would cut his hair in the same manner as Crystal, my husband watched intently while “Brittney” cut his hair. When she was done, he not only was relieved that it was cut the same way, but he was taken back by what Brittney said next.
     “Would you like your eyebrows trimmed also?” she said. What? Eyebrows trimmed? That was new one to him. NEVER before had a hairdresser asked him that question. Because she did such a great job on his hair, my husband said, “Sure”. So, she trimmed his eyebrows, which now look great. And, she trimmed them free as an added service. My husband left Great Clips as an extremely satisfied customer, and Brittney got a bigger tip when he paid the bill. A win-win for both.
     What lesson can be learned from this? How can we apply this simple concept of giving more than what a “customer” asks for? Now, keep in mind that customers can not only be considered folks who purchase your products, but also your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, classmates, etc. When we give or serve our “customer” more or something unexpected which is above and beyond, our “customer” is more likely to return the gesture. They may become loyal, repeat customers or remember you when you need a favor. This is called the Law of Reciprocity. Brittney gave my husband a great haircut and trimmed his eyebrows as a free service. In turn and because she did such a good job, he returned the gesture by giving her a nice tip.
     The next time you have the opportunity to serve someone, whether it be on the job or at home, why not go the extra mile and do something extra and outside of the “box”? You may just catch that person off-guard, who will then do something for you in return. And don’t be surprised if the next time your hairdresser asks, “Would you like your eyebrows trimmed with that?” It’s the extra customer service that keeps customers satisfied and who keep coming back.
     Why not try it today? What has worked for you? Please feel free to leave comments below and share tips with others.

Why Time Management Doesn't Work, But This Does

     I bet there are many of us who think we are pretty good at managing our time.  We multi-task on every level to get things done in the time period we have and feel a sense of self-accomplishment at the end of the day.  We add apps to our smartphones to allow us to get things done at all hours of the day when we have some “down time”.  We try to beat the overload, be more effective and achieve more each day.  But, are we really managing our time well when we feel like a Mack truck hit us from all of the work completed?

     Sitting in church this past Sunday, our pastor said something which struck a chord in me.  We don’t manage our time.  We have to eat and sleep in addition to getting ready (and not like the lady putting on her makeup while driving in front of me this morning).  We have to cook, clean, and spend time with our family, in addition to work duties.  With trying to manage all of this, the process manages us.  So, what is a person to do?  Scratch out the word “time” and replace it with “energy”.  Energy Management. 

     Energy Management – what is this?  Manage your work when you are feeling your best.  Plan to take on higher priority tasks when you have the most energy.  For me, that is in the morning.  I get more done, as my brain is more “alive and active”.  After lunch, you may be a little more relaxed, so this may be the best time to tackle some less important or repetitive tasks, such as answering e-mails, returning phone calls, or weekly cleaning.   When your brain isn’t at its best, processing a decision or though could take longer, thus throwing a wrench into your daily schedule.  And, it you can’t think or make a decision, you may get frustrated, and it takes longer to get something done.

     Other than managing your energy, set goals and tasks to be completed when you have your best energy level.  When interruptions happen, try to get focused again.  I know this can be hard for me and takes a lot of energy.  But, if I were to do my highest priority items when I was on low energy and having distractions, I wouldn’t be the most pleasant person to be around.

    Stop feeling overwhelmed and try to manage your energy instead of your time.  When you are at your best, you will accomplish more and have a better self-confidence when it is all done.  Not much can be accomplished when you are frazzled or overwhelmed.  So, get ready to take on your highest priority tasks when you feel your best.

Are Your Relationships Fireproof?

     A little over a week ago, my husband gave me an awesome Valentine’s Day present, the movie “Fireproof”.  This movie was one of our favorites, and we had loaned it out to another couple, to whom we can't remember (ever had that happen to you)?  So, my husband went out and bought another copy for our video library.  In the movie, one main theme resonated with us.  Marriages and relationships aren’t fireproof.  Sometimes, you get “burned.” 
     Relationships take all forms – with your spouse, children, co-workers, friends, neighbors, and so forth.  You deal with these people day in and day out.  You interact with them when you are at your worst and your best.  How do you handle or treat these relationships?  How you address each one is much different, but the core principle question to ask yourself is do you communicate with this person in an atmosphere of respect and courtesy?  Is your character honorable to earn respect in return?  If no, what can you work on to change your behavior?  Do you feel “broken”?
     Fireproof relationships don’t mean that fire will never come.  It will.  But, when it does, you will be able to withstand it.  How do you make your marriage and relationships “fireproof”?  Communicate better, share more, get rid of selfishness, quit being “full of yourself”, and focus on the qualities with which Colossians 3:12 teaches us to clothe ourselves: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  When you have a committed relationship to live for Jesus, life becomes much easier.  Don’t let your relationships burn to the ground because of something that can change your life in a positive way you never thought would ever happen. 

3 Tips to Not Having the Same Ol’, Same Ol’ Year

     As we celebrate another year’s beginning, the phrase we tend to hear is, “Happy New Year!”  Have you ever heard, “Happy Old Year?”  No?  Why not?  Is it because we are optimistic that the new year is going to be different from the prior one or are we saying “Happy New Year” just to be nice?
     What is your plan or resolution for this new year?  Are you wanting things in your life to change for the positive?  If so, what are you doing about it?  I must confess, almost every year, I resolve to losing weight.  I really mean it in 2012 since I have a milestone class reunion. By the end of January, that resolution is no longer a thought in my head.  I’ve given up.  I’m not making any or much noticeable progress.  Sound familiar?
     What is the secret to making your resolutions and goals a reality and not a not-so-distant memory?  What can you do today that will yield progress in the coming days, while not getting discouraged?   Do you truly want to make it a “Happy New Year?” 

Here are three suggestions on how to make it happen:
    • Is the economy getting you down?  How about a present situation at home or work?  Though you may get into a “funk” at times, decide to be happy anyway.  Ok, if you don’t, when?  When the economy gets better?  When that ideal job opportunity opens up? 
    • Don’t wait to take action and then be happy.  Do it now.  Really, Darcy?  I don’t know my circumstances, you say?  True, I don’t.  But, happiness is a treasure and a choice that we have access to right now.  Don’t wait until you lose that extra 10 lbs., until you get married, until you buy a house, until you have kids, until you retire, and…well, you get the picture.  Be happy now.  Happiness is in your head.
    • You control your own destiny.  Do you want 2012 to be the same as 2011?   Were there events in 2011 that you would like NOT to see repeated in 2012?  I know I do.  But, how can history not repeat itself?  The answer lies making good choices.  If you sit around and do nothing, what‘s going to happen?  Nothing.  If you make a poor decision without weighing the consequences, you may end up in the same predicament that you were before.  Why not take control of what happens to you by evaluating your current situation and learning from it to make a better choice?  What can YOU do to take control of what happens to you?

     Let’s put the “Happy” back into “Happy New Year”.   Happiness is now, not after a ten pound loss, not after my children leave to go to college, not after you retire.  Get out of your funk and decide to be happy by taking action now.  You control how you feel.  Happiness is inside you always and helps you get through the tough times.  Why not let it out and have a Happy 2012?  What are some ways that you do this?

5 Things Survivors of Brain Injury Should Know about Caregivers

       Being a caregiver of a brain injury survivor isn’t easy.   Each caregiver’s story is different.  Some have experienced some similar and uniquely different things as they deal with the family member who has a brain injury.
     Each caregiver’s story will depend on which family member has sustained a brain injury and, from that point on, the other family member(s) take on new positions or new roles in the family. Some of these new roles include:
    • Paying the household and survivor’s bills
    • Taxi driver 
    • Walking & talking daily planner
    • Case manager
    • Housekeeper
    • Cook
    • Role model
    • Financial provider
    
     What are 5 things that we should know about caregivers as they try to fill the above roles for us survivors?  Caregivers possibly are:
    • Striving to stay positive and proactive throughout this experience
    • Feeling a sense of isolation from not only their loved one but other ”friends”
    • Feeling like they are “walking on eggshells”
    • Wanting to grieve, even though their loved one is beside them
    • Feeling like they are flying by the seat of their pants on a regular basis.
 
     There are many “issues” that we survivors deal with everyday.  Sometimes, it takes all of our energy to focus on what we are doing and trying to remember things.  However, we should also recognize the “issues” felt by our caregivers and try to help them out whenever possible.  By doing this, it will only help us, as they try to take care of us in living our “new” life and dealing with our injury.  What other things should we survivors know about caregivers?  Please feel free to leave a comment.

* Thanks to Rosalyn Fast, caregiver of a survivor of brain injury, for the main points for this article.

My Advice for Gabby Giffords, as told on WTHR Channel 13


Hi!  Yesterday, I received a call from WTHR Channel 13 (NBC affiliate) in Indianapolis.  They were doing a story on Gabby Giffords' return to Congress to cast her vote for the debt ceiling bill and my experience and advice on returning to work after receiving a traumatic brain injury.

The awesome interview aired around 6:10 PM ET.  Click on the picture above to be taken to the written interview text.  Thanks!

3 Holiday Lessons from My Presentation with the Baltimore Ravens

     On November 7th, I had the distinct privilege to present the “Traffic Education and Decision Making” module of the NFL’s Rookie Success Program with the Baltimore Ravens’ rookies.  The focus of the module was on good decision-making, personal responsibility, public safety, and interaction with law enforcement.  Not only did I share my poor decision which led to my “career-ending injury”, but I gave them my secret formula to making good decisions. 

     Donning a purple blouse in support of the Ravens’ team colors, I interacted with the 17 Rookies during the hour long session.  The guys were fun loving, engaged, and attentive.  I had such a fantastic time and was completely at ease as I shared how to do the right thing in making decisions.  But, during my time at their complex, there were some basic principles they reinforced that we all should keep in mind when dealing with others and the busy time during the upcoming holidays.

  1. Treat your guests/customers with upmost respect and courtesy.  From the man who picked me up from my hotel to the receptionist when you walk in the Ravens’ front door, I was treated with such impeccable manners.  Harry Swayne, the Ravens’ Player Engagement Director, gave me an insider’s look tour of the facilities, as well as introducing me to several of his co-workers after we finished eating a delicious lunch in their lunchroom.  During my brief stay at the Ravens’ complex, I was treated like a queen.  This is definitely a sign of a first-class operation.
  2. Know your audience/customers and make them feel comfortable.  Not only did the receptionist know that I was coming, she knew who to contact when I got there.  And, she had a visitors badge already printed. Again making me feel important.  On the flip side, a sign of a good speaker is to know your audience – demographically, mind-set, background, etc.  Before my session, I tweeted each rookie player who I could find on Twitter.  And since there were only 16 of them, I printed off their picture, name, and position and put this information on flash cards so that I could be familiarized with the rookies when I talked with them.  This extra effort allowed me to connect with the guys on another level and allow the message of making good decisions more personal to them.  What are some things you can do to know more about your customers or your child’s friends to enhance your relationship?
  3. Prepare for distractions.  Sometimes, it seems like the best laid plan has some sort of snafu that is unexpected.  Your child (or you) could get sick, there is a traffic delay on the way to work, etc.  It is frustrating when things don’t go as planned, isn’t it?  During my Ravens presentation, I knew that I only had an hour to engage the players, share the content the NFL wanted, and apply it through scenarios.  Well, the first distraction which took away from the designated hour was that a couple of players were a little late, as they were still eating.  So, it was almost 8 minutes into the hour before I began.  As a result, I had to modify and leave out some of my presentation on the fly to make sure that it all fit into the hour.  Not a big deal.  Had I not been prepared, I could’ve blown it and missed some of the important information that I needed to say to the players.  Instead, I knew my material and was able to adjust with ease. 

What about you?  With the holidays approaching, how do you treat guests?  How do you handle it when your turkey is a little on the dry side or your pumpkin pie is burnt?  Can you go with the flow or does the little snafu rock your world?  If you follow the above tips, your holidays will be much easier and have less stress.  I wish for you a Happy Thanksgiving!

How "Social" are You?

     Last week, I received a second e-mail from my daughter’s teacher that she is being too social in class.  Too social?  What does that look like?  According to the teacher, my daughter sometimes doesn’t pay attention in class because she is being social with her classmates.  She makes new friends no matter where the teacher moves her in the classroom seating arrangement.  While many times this is good, it could lead to problems of inattention to instruction in the future.  While I’m not worried about her being in third grade with this problem, she is learning to expand her communication and social circles that will help her memory.  How so?

     Did you know that one’s ability to remember something is largely tied to its emotional context?   I didn’t think about that, but it makes sense.  Think back to your high school days.  Were they good ones to remember?  Were you enjoying those teen years?  Why is it that many times we resort to our high school thoughts and feelings when we go to a class reunion?  Why is it that we remember this time so well?    Maybe it’s because we are emotional during this time (right ladies?), and we spend a lot of time with our friends.  Social interaction is at its peak, and information is “tagged” in our brain through engaging emotions.  Certain songs may have emotional attachment during this time and put a smile on your face when you hear them years later because of that emotional attachment.

     As we get older, however, our social circles tend to shrink.  Interactions with people are less; thus, the emotional triggers that help us remember tend to be less, also.  We pay at the pump, frequent ATMs, watch movies online, and have Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn accounts.  No human contact involved.  As our social circles get smaller, we need to find opportunities to interact with one another.  This interaction not only helps us build connections to remember things, it helps our overall brain health, especially as we age. 

     So, what is the take-away?  When you are out in the “real” world, and not just the virtual one, you are engaging all senses needed for a healthy brain and an active memory, especially as we get older.  I guess it’s not so bad that some of us start earlier than the third grade engaging one another and begin on the road to a healthy brain.  How about you?  Do you seek out “real” social interactions?  If not, why not start today and keep your brain healthy?  Remember (pun intended), if you don’t use it, you might lose it.

Can You Hear Me Now and Smell That, Too?

     Last month, I talked about how routines can be bad for you.  Continuing on with the subject of Neurobics, can you name the two senses that we use most (Jeopardy theme music enters here)?  That’s right ~ the senses that we use most are vision and hearing.  If you close your eyes and try to navigate through a room, what do you find?  You sense of touch becomes most important.  Even though you many have been in this room a million times, not being able to see now becomes a real challenge, and your brain kicks into overload to try to picture the room, allowing you to successfully navigate through it. 

      Have you ever thought about how many of our everyday experiences appeal to one main sense, our vision?  Billboards, television advertisements, and product packaging all contribute to not only our desire to purchase the product, but also to the experience we may have after we purchase it.  Remember the “Coke is the real thing” TV add where a perspiring sports celebrity opens a refreshing, ice cold Coca Cola and takes a BIG drink and then finishes with an “Ahhh”?  Our eyes see a person whom we admire drinking a product and is instantly refreshed.  We may be thinking, “I could really use an ice cold Coke right now.”  So, we run out and purchase one.  Think back to your favorite Superbowl advertisement.  Why did you like it so much?  How did it appeal to your vision and hearing that entitled it to be your favorite?

   Now, let’s not leave out our other 3 senses: smell, taste, and touch.  These senses play an important role in memory, too.  Try texting at a rapid pace without looking at your hands.  I bet there are tons of teenagers that can do this just by the touch of the keys and their memory where the letters are.  What about smell?  Does the smell of fresh baked bread or out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies sound good?  What type of feeling does this evoke?  Does your mouth start watering?  Associations based on smelling play an important part of our memory, form rapidly and persist for a very long time, unlike our other senses.   Smells may also trigger emotional responses, such as perfume or cologne.

     Why not try using your underutilized senses of smell, taste, and touch to challenge your brain and help increase your mental fitness today?  And, go ahead.  Reward your sense of smell and taste with those warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies when you’re done.

Routines Can Be Bad for You

    What?  How can a routine being bad for you?   I mean, with routines, I get more done in the day,  know what to expect, experience less stress, and I’m comfortable with knowing what the outcome is likely to be when I’m done.  But is this “healthy”?  In some respects, yes, since it may produce less stress and anxiety.  But on the other hand, having set routines “deadens” our brains so that we do things almost subconsciously and don’t provide any exercise to them.  Over time, this could produce problems.

     If you drive to work every day, using the same route, you use the same brain routes.  But, when you deviate slightly, other brain areas are activated, as the brain is primed to seek out and respond to what is unexpected.   When we become more predictable, we don’t tap into our brain’s potential to learn something new and “grow”.   In other words, our brains don’t get exercise.

     Now, routines aren’t necessary bad.  The same brain connections get stronger when we do the same thing.  Have you done something so often that you said that you could do it blindfolded?  How about driving the same route that when you arrive at home, you don’t remember how you got there?  These activities are second nature, as you have done something over and over again that the connection in your brain to get from Point A to Point B is so strong that you can do it with little thought. 

     Routines can be good when you are looking for predictability on the outcome and, thus, experience less stress.  For example, when you have a routine of getting ready before work, you can predict if you will be ready by a certain time.  Same goes for perfecting a sport.  When you practice a routine, you get better and better and can expect a better outcome than if you didn’t practice the routine or drill.

     While routines can be good, they can be brain deadening since you use little energy when you don’t seek out new experiences.  So, why not try a new way to work tomorrow? Why not try a new hobby?  Maybe even a new restaurant with a different atmosphere?  You never know what joy a new experience can bring.  So, what new thing would you like to try today?

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