The Queen of Survival
Darcy Keith
What's new with Darcy

What Do Hot Chocolate and Freedom Have in Common?

      Every weekend at church, my daughter runs up to the coffee bar (now if that isn’t an oxymoron, I don’t know what is), and selects her packet of hot chocolate and a cup.  With anticipation of a yummy, warm drink and letting out a little giggle, she then hands them to me to put in the hot water from the carafe.  One of the church elders comments how much enjoyment he gets from seeing Olivia’s excitement of the simplest of things – a cup of hot chocolate.  It brings him joy to help make sure that there is hot water for tea and hot chocolate on Sunday mornings, to which Olivia is grateful. 

   To the church elder, though, hot chocolate may not seem like such a big deal as it does to a seven year-old.  What he values and is thankful for is his freedom.   With Veterans Day also in November, we remember those who have served and continue to serve our great nation.   Somehow, the words, “Thank You”, don’t seem to be enough to express our gratitude for those who have paid the ultimate price. 

     During this time of year, everyone is writing and talking about being thankful for what we have.   It’s easy to take a moment and reflect on the wonderful things that have happened to us.   Need some ideas on reflection?  Here are a few thoughts:

  1.  Teach a child the lesson of being thankful.  Make sure you instill the message of being thankful for your family, friends, and all people in our world (regardless of our differences) and how he/she treats others is important.
  2. Do a small act of kindness for a neighbor or friend.  Make an offer to run an errand.  Small acts of kindness not only benefit the receiver, but also the giver. 
  3. Tell others you appreciate them and are thankful for them being in your life.  In turn, what would they say about you?  Do you have a thankful spirit?

     The Bible says to give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  So, whether it be a cup of hot chocolate, enjoying our freedom, or whatever you are thankful for, take time to reflect on the things for which you are thankful this time of year, no matter what the situation is.

     I wish for you a Happy Thanksgiving and am thankful for having you as a reader! 

P.S.  You are also welcome to send any comments and feedback you may have.  J  I enjoy hearing from you!

Do you know your "DEF's?"

         In Kindergarten, we are taught our ABC’s.  These letters signify the beginning of the alphabet, the beginning of learning our words and language.  Has anyone ever asked you if you knew your “DEF’s?”  You know what D-E-F stands for, right?   I mean, these are the letters which are the beginning to identify a way to reach our goals and dreams.  Never head of them?  Well, let me introduce them to you.
     ‘D’ stands for desire.  It is a desire for your goal, dream, or anything else you have your sites on.  Some people call it a passion.  Some call it a desire.  If the desire doesn’t exist, then when adversity comes, it’s easy to give up on your goal.  The drive to pursue what you want to do is no longer there.
     ‘E’ represents effort.  I don’t know many people where tasks come easy.  They have to put in effort, or hard work, to reach their goal.  Many sports athletes, everyday salespeople, and business people put in overtime and extra hours to make sure the job is done and done well. 
    Lastly, ‘F’ stands for focus.  You can have all of the desire and effort put into something and have nothing come out of your efforts.  That’s because you lack focus.  I struggle with this issue and my seven year-old daughter does too, right now.  She lacks focus.  Last week at the parent –teacher conference, the teacher told me that Olivia was a great student.  She earned all A’s on her report card, including 2 A+’s.  The only area in which she needed improvement is that she talks too much and is social.  I smiled and asked her what did she expect from a child of a Professional Speaker?   I told her what we would work on that in the future.  The point is that Olivia lacks focus at times.  She doesn’t have attention deficit disorder, but she lacks focus on what she is doing. She is easily distracted.  With my brain injury, I have lacked focus a few times.  If you can identify when you lack focus, you can work on it, as having focus is vital to achieving your goals.  You must be focused on what you want to accomplish.
     Not only is it important to learn your ABCs early in life, it’s just as important to learn your DEFs.  The DEF fundamentals will take you far in getting you to the end result, despite any adversity that comes along your path.  It may be not easy to learn the DEFs.  But if I can do it, you can too!

Would You Like to Be Forever Young?

     “I want to be forever young” was a quote that I read on someone’s Facebook page recently.  Forever young: what exactly does this mean?  Stay at the same age forever?  Look youthful all the time?  Keep the same energy level?  Remain young at heart?  Continue to live like you are a teenager? 
     There are many definitions of being forever young, and it’s all a matter of perspective.  Sure, I would love not to notice another wrinkle on my face.  I would like to not notice that my daughter is growing up before my eyes into a beautiful young lady.  Before I know it, she will be off to college.  But, I also realize that time stops for no one.  However, this doesn’t mean that I can’t be forever young.
     Ben Irwin puts it best when he says, “Most of us spend our lives as if we have another one in the bank.”  Remaining forever young, to me, is engaging in life and living it to the fullest, each and every day.  It’s dancing around the house when my favorite song is on the radio, not caring if my daughter is rolling her eyes in the process.  It’s baking cookies and spending time with her while she’s doing her homework or playing a game.  It’s knowing you are not ‘too old’ to stroll hand-in-hand with your spouse while out for a cool, summer evening walk. 
     Sure, clothes may not fit like they did ten or even twenty years ago.  But, you can feel forever young without plastic surgery or anything else the ‘world’ tells you that is needed to look and feel young.  Here are a few thoughts on remaining forever young:
  • Start by ‘spending’ all of yourself today.  Don’t save any up for tomorrow.  When you spend all of today, you get a whole new you to spend tomorrow.  How cool is that?
  • Take care of yourself physically and mentally beginning with today, no matter what age you are.  It’s like maintaining your car ~ it lasts longer down the road.
  •  Treat other people that way that you would like to be treated.  Enjoy the good feeling of doing something nice for others.

I know that my body can’t swim or play volleyball like I used to, but I haven’t let that stop me from being forever young. There’s no magical fountain of youth, but you can live forever young if you enjoy life, living each day to the fullest.

Simple Pleasures - Are You Enjoying Them?

     How would you like to enjoy the best things in life for free?  If you take a moment to think about it, maybe you already are? 

     This past Thursday, I was the Toastmaster at our Toastmasters International club meeting of the Talking Heads Club #761.  The theme of the meeting was, “Simple Pleasures.”  In between speeches, I talked about various simple pleasures that life gives us, which are the little satisfying things that you always take great pleasure in.  For some members, simple pleasures meant walking hand in hand with the one you love.  For another, it was waking up on a Saturday morning, knowing that you didn’t have to go into work that day.

     For me, I have many simple pleasures in which I delight in life that are free.  One is looking at pictures in a scrapbook and reminiscing of good times past.  Another is seeing the winter’s first white snowfall on a bright moonlit night.  Or what about being in a nice, warm bed at night, listening to the rain go pitter patter on the roof from a thunderstorm outside?  I also get simple pleasures from watching my daughter’s excitement when she opens her presents on Christmas Day. 

     Life gives us so many simple pleasures and blessings for which we can be thankful every day that all we need to do is identify them and reflect.  What is stopping you from enjoying the simple things that life has to offer you today? 

Is It a Scam or for Real?

     Recently, I was contacted by e-mail to be a guest speaker for a Christian conference in the United Kingdom.  The thought of going back to London was very attractive!  The invitation appeared to be legitimate, including the conference website, church’s website, addresses, phone numbers, and a request for inquiry of availability to speak.   I responded with a few questions to get a feel as to what the conference was like, because it seemed rather odd that the conference was next month and the conference website was “under construction.”  Hmmm….

     The pastor and I exchanged e-mails, and he sent me a formal letter of invitation and contract.  Since I have my own legally approved contract, I wanted to run his contract by the Christian Law Association before I signed it and sent it back.  One of their attorneys reviewed the contract and said that the only misgiving he had about it was that there was no back page that referenced the contract terms and conditions.  At first glance, the rest of the contract appeared to be very legitimate and very thorough.  But, there was one sentence on the second to the last page which referenced terms and conditions which weren’t present in the document sent.  In other words, if I signed the contract and sent it back, they could add pages (which weren’t numbered either) with terms and conditions to which I didn’t agree.  

     Is this an Internet scam?  Possibly -  it sure does look like it (I also did more research and found out some other things which point to an Internet scam).  But, I did my research on the subject, got others’ professional opinions, and asked questions of the person initiating the communication before I made my decision not to accept their false speaking invitation.

     Dishonest folks have been around for years.  But, their tactics and methods for deception are changing.  Be careful and do the research before you agree to anything.

Until next time, be your best always,
Darcy
 
P.S.  Two days after I began communicating with the church in London, I received another invitation to speak at a Christian conference in the United Kingdom in October.  I think I may have been put on some type of 'scam' prospect list?

Need a Vacation When You’ve Just Returned from One?

     Have you ever said to yourself when you got back from a vacation that you need another one to relax from the one you just took?   I have, especially with a youngster in tow.    While our daughter is young enough to enjoy dressing up and the Princess experience at Disney World, we once again made the pilgrimage after school was out.  This also meant going non-stop from sun up to sun down while we were there to make sure that we hit every attraction…three times!  I wish I had the energy of a seven year-old again!

     Vacations play a role is maintaining our sanity and health.  They take us away from the stress of work and home life to a place where we can recharge, rejuvenate, and return refreshed.  But, how many times does this actually happen?  How many times do we come home as stressed out as when we left, open up an inbox full of unanswered e-mail, our house is a mess, and a pile of dirty laundry needs to be done?  Do feel as bad as you did before you left?

     In case you have felt like you have needed a vacation from your vacation, here are four tips to make your next one a little easier on you:

  • Plan to return from your trip a day early to catch up on laundry, e-mail, bills, and anything else which may put you in a better frame of mind.
  • If you can, Jeff Davidson, author of “Simpler Living: A Back to Basics Guide: to Cleaning, Furnishing, Storing, Decluttering, Streamlining, Organizing,” suggests schedule a pleasurable task for that extra day when you get back.  It could be watching your favorite show or sipping a cup of tea.
  • Shortly before you go, clean your house and desk.  Returning to a house or office that is orderly can give you a feeling of control.
  • If you do decide to check e-mail while on vacation, decide when and how often you are going to do it.

I wish that when we got back from Disney World that I had one more day off before I got back in my routine.  But, now I’m equipped to tackle our next family vacation with less stress when we get home.  I hope you can, too!

How Not to Get Caught

Many of us go through life, doing things we shouldn’t do and not thinking of the consequences until something goes wrong.  Do we think that we aren’t going to get caught along the way or in the end?  Are we rebels that we don’t want someone telling us what to do, that we do just the opposite?  Why is obedience so hard?

If we know the consequences of we don’t obey the law, for example, then why do we break it?  If we know that drinking in excess and getting behind the wheel of a vehicle is dangerous and can kill, then why do some folks choose to do it?  Isn’t following or obeying the rules and staying out of trouble easier? 

My seven year-old daughter is at the age where she is testing boundaries.  She is deciding when she wants to obey.  She learns the consequences when she doesn’t.  She is finding it is much easier to do what she is told, not lie, and have to worry about getting in trouble.  She is learning to make good choices when faced with the consequences of both decisions.   I hope that she is not thinking of how she can get away with something, but how easy life is when she is obedient to her father and me.

I find life is like that.  If we obey traffic laws, we get from one place to another without major delays or getting in crashes in the process.  If we obey rules in the workplace, we may avoid conflicting situations.  If we obey our marriage vows, we grow in our relationship and preserve our family unit.  If we obey the tax laws, we avoid being audited by the IRS.

I must admit, though, that I have a hard time being obedient to what food I put into my mouth.  I try really hard to eat healthy, but there are times where I’m a glutton for junk food and chocolate.  I know that all of that refined sugar isn’t good for me and only turns to fat.  And, if you opened me up when I die, you might find a big chocolate brownie stuck in my heart.  But, in the end, does food satisfy?  Does the sugar that I eat take care of immediate needs or is the satisfaction long-lasting?  As the motto goes, “A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips”.  No, the sweet chocolate taste doesn’t last, but the after effects do.

This is much like when we aren’t obedient.  We may get immediate gratification from not obeying, but the consequences or pitfalls of disobedience can be devastating.  As much as it seems against what we may want to do or be told, following the rules seems to be the easiest way to living like we want.  Then, we don't have to worry about getting caught.

Until next time, be your best always,
Darcy

Got Happiness?

Mother’s Day is a recent memory.  Like most moms, I was treated to a day where I could do whatever I want.  I was Queen of the remote control.  The lunch menu detailed food that I wanted, and I didn’t have to cook it.  My daughter, young as she is, made several Mother’s Day cards at school, church, and home with various scrapbooking adornments, which she proudly presented to me and begged that I select my favorite one.  The sun was shining, and the day was happy.

There are times in our lives where things may not seem happy or joyous at all.  Events happen and steal our joy.  How do you recover from this?  Where are you getting your joy? 

I must confess, life is not all roses.  One of my six year-old daughter’s favorite sayings is, “It’s not fair”.  She is learning that life isn’t fair at times.  What would life be like if we had everything we wanted?  King Solomon in the Bible had it all: power, fame, fortune, and wisdom.  Yet, he put his happiness in temporal things and became very unhappy.  Have you ever said to yourself, I will be really happy when I get that new car?  How long does this happiness last?  Or what about an accomplishment you have achieved.  The next one must be bigger and better.  It’s never enough and the cycle continues, searching for the happiness “high” that you experienced before.

What makes you happy?  I’m not just talking about for a few hours or days.  I’m talking about happiness for a while longer.

Here are four suggestions on living a happier life:

  1. Think of the small things that make you happy and write them down.  This could be a sunny day, the smell of freshly cut grass, or hearing your favorite song on the radio.
  2. Keep everything in perspective.  Put things in their proper place.  If something makes you unhappy, consider the scenario in the big scheme of things.  Will it really matter when you are 80 years old?
  3. Look at the root cause of what makes you happy in your life.  Remember what gives you joy.
  4. Put yourself second and serve others, which is contradictory to what the world says.  Happiness in serving another person first, rather than ourselves, is a humbling experience that shows others that they matter more than us.  Have you heard of the saying, “Giving the shirt off of your back”? 

Happiness is a great feeling.  The wonderful thing about being happy is that it can be found in small packages.  Why not take time to look for the small stuff that makes you happy today?

How Do YOU Bounce?

   A few weeks ago, Spring Break was enjoyed by kids of all ages, including mine.   Olivia enjoyed spending time with her cousins and grandparents for part of the week.  On one of the days, her grandparents took her to the Children’s Museum.  However, it was only going to be half of the day that they would be able to enjoy at this activity, fun-filled building.
     At lunchtime, Olivia wasn’t feeling very hungry and her stomach wasn’t feeling well.  Instead, she was feeling sick, and that she was.  One of the best things about being a grandparent is that you can send your grandchild home whenever you want, and being over an hour away from their home, that’s what they did.  I took Olivia home, and the poor thing was sick for the rest of the day.  But, the next day, she bounced back to her normal self. 
     Fast forward six days later.  I’m not feeling very hungry, and my stomach was feeling sick.   I’m down for two days.  I felt like I’d been hit by a Freightliner truck again– just kidding.   I didn’t bounce back like I thought I would. 
     Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t bounce back, or show resilience, like you thought you would have?  This could be from illness, from getting a new job (or finding a new one), other life changes, etc.  It’s the ability to be flexible, to recover strength, good humor, etc. quickly.  When life gives you a change that you didn’t expect or want, how do you bounce?  Do you bounce well, or do you let it deflate you? 
     Sometimes, God allows situations to test our faith.  One thing I’ve learned from my car crash is that the role of faith & resilience in recovery from traumatic events is a common observation, not to mention support from my family and friends.  My Faith in God Almighty was a major factor in strengthening my resilience and promoting recovery.  Faith in God can do the same for you.
Until next time, be your best always,
Darcy

March Madness - David v. Goliath: Are you facing a Goliath in your life?

There’s a big sports buzz again in Indianapolis, and it’s not about our Indianapolis Colts.  It’s about our hometown university, Butler, playing in the NCAA Final Four tournament, which is also being held here in Indianapolis this upcoming weekend.   Who would have thought that a university of 4200 students would have a team that defeated top seeded teams and are now playing in the Final Four versus a university of 47,100?  Does it seem unfair that a team from smaller school would be playing against one over ten times its size?

Butler has been compared to the Milan High School basketball team in the movie, “Hoosiers.”   The real-life team Milan High, won the Indiana boys basketball title back in 1954, when there was just one classification of basketball.  Milan took on the big boys and won.  Butler, a small university, is also taking on the big boys in the NCAA tournament: Syracuse, Kansas State, and now Michigan State.  But just like David versus Goliath, the Butler boys have “smooth stones” in their pocket to knock out the big competition in players Gordon Hayward, Matt Howard, and Shelvin Mack.  They haven’t listened to critics and sports writers.  The boys have gone out and executed a good game of basketball, both offensively and defensively.

Have you ever been faced with a big decision or challenge in your life?  How do you react?  Do you “play” with fortitude, perseverance, and determination to do the best you can, or do you approach it with an attitude of “there’s no way that I can win against this HUGE adversary?”  When you apply fortitude, perseverance, and determination, nothing can stop you from succeeding.  The Butler boys haven’t let the Goliath colleges intimidate them.  Instead, they are taking one step, or game, at a time.  And, they have succeeded.

I’d encourage you to look at the “Goliaths” in your life.  When an issue seems too big, here are some thoughts:

  1.  Seek counsel from others on how to develop your game plan. They can help “coach” you to success.
  2. Take one step at a time with your game plan and include fortitude, perseverance, and determination.  You may be surprised at the outcome. 
  3. Evaluate and make adjustments to the plan as you go, if needed.  If the opposition changes “players”, be prepared to make “substitutions”, too.

The Butler Bulldogs basketball team hasn’t let the big boys stop them.  You can overcome big challenges, too.

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